There are two parts to a real vacation, the vacation itself, and that ‘ahhhhh home sweet home’ feeling that you get when you return. And let me tell you, this was a real vacation. It was the vacation I had been dreaming of. In hindsight I can’t believe all the stress I put myself through over the plane ride and leaving the kids. It just goes to show you how attached one can become to their kids, their family and their routine. I have so much to tell you about the vacation itself but this is a post about my return.

Being away from the kids was like a time-warp. I felt like I had gone back to a time when BD and I could roam free and do whatever we pleased, and believe me we did. It was truly liberating. Here’s where I have to give HUGE props to my mom and dad for looking after the kids for eight days. Without them a trip like this wouldn’t have been possible. Knowing the kids were safe made us at ease and as the days and nights passed we were able to experience a life we once knew. We talked, we made a billion and one new jokes and sometimes, we even missed the kids. But most importantly we were just us again. It was perfection.

All my expectations were met. It really was just what I had pictured, but what I didn’t expect, was to return home and feel so incredible. I thought the amazing part was going to be the vacation itself. When I got out of the cab, which was a rather depressing ride until I opened my front door, my son greeted me with an enormous hug that knocked me to the ground. I didn’t speak to him on the phone while I was away and his voice was new to me after not hearing it for over a week. I almost cried. The things he said and the way he talked all seemed new to me. Lola was a beauty who looked more angelic than ever. It was a double whammy, I got the vacation and got to come home to a new found love of my kids. I never stopped loving them of course, but I didn’t realize that I could love them anymore than I already did. Does that make sense?

I just got back yesterday and I feel like I’m high….and no it’s not the jet lag…and no, I’m not actually high. I feel so re-energized and invigorated it’s incredible. This vacation was so very needed and I feel so fucking lucky to have been able to go. I am ultra inspired. I want to change old habits and begin new ones. I want to write, paint draw, design, decorate, cook and even clean! I know this feeling won’t last forever but I’m going to somehow find a way to harness this energy and make things happen. This has been a long time coming and I really, truly feel whole again.

As soon as BD and I moved into our little house nearly three years ago I knew right away that we would have a slew of family photos leading up the staircase. As a kid I grew up mostly in apartments and we never had a stairway gallery. I would see them in movies or at friends houses and feel that thats what ever family should have in their house. I love kitschy photos with the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus. And I’m particularly fond of the portrait with the full view and 3/4 side view combo. The professional family photo is something I’ve been longing to do too. Ours will be from the Queens Center Mall where they have all sorts of trashy airbrushed backdrops to choose from. Gawd I love an airbrushed backdrop.

Anyway our stairway gallery did start the minute we moved in and is growing slowly but surely. I thought that I would share some of our families prized photos that made it to the stairs. Enjoy!

This one was taken in Vegas pre-babies. Anytime BD and I see a cool photo op we’re in.

This is one you guys have seen before. To me this photo embodies the carefree party days when BD and I first met.

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Ok, honestly, things around here have been kinda out of wack for the past couple of weeks. I’ve been pretty uninspired among a variety of other unplesent feelings. I can’t be absolutely sure, but it seems like things are finally working themselves out. Actually, let me rephrase that, after several talks, discovering the root of the stress, taking new disciplinary measures and uncovering what we are all being so goddamn bitchy about…we are working through a rough patch.

Having a a new family is really hard. Hell, life is hard and rarely does anyone just go sailing through it without a hitch. When you’re dealing with four individulas under one roof there can be a domino effect when it comes to crankiness. It just takes one person to throw the whole crew into a tailspin. The only one that seems to be immune is Lola. She also acts as the antidote to my bad moods. God bless her.

So without going into details, things just felt off around here for the last two weeks. Let’s look at the  anatomy of a ‘rough patch’. BD has the responsibility of running a company and providing for this growing family. Naturally, stress is a factor. My family is out of town for a while and we’ve had no one to watch the kids…not even for a few hours. I have virtually not a moment to myself, only in my dreams. I do the brunt of the work with the kids and it’s a 24/7 job as you probably know. I’ve said it before, we just don’t get out, me and BD, alone, and thats really hard. Fritz is really testing his limits these days and it’s exhausting constantly having to discipline and reprimand him. But we’re figuring it out. We’re addressing issues like, BD playing with the kids more, me being more understanding about his work, doing little things like simple gift giving and unselfish gestures, laying down the law with Fritz, spending more time together after the kids go to bed and to not bickering over stupid shit.

They say that this is one of the hardest times in a marriage, when the kids come. Having an infant and a toddler will test your marriage for sure. Sometimes BD and I can hardly talk to each other because Fritz is fighting for my constant attention and will just talk at me as BD and I are trying to have a conversation. I’m telling you it’s fucking crazy up in here. We face challenges all the time, but I also realize we are very, very lucky. BD and I have an incredibly strong bond, a rock solid foundation if you will. Maybe you’ve read this and are thinking ‘Uh, oh they’re in trouble’. That’s not what this is about, it’s about me sharing the challenges of being a family with you. I’ll bet most of you go through the same shit.

So, for a while I wasn’t feeling so hot. I was unfocused and dealing with things around here. I hate it when I shut down like that but I was so uninspired I just couldn’t find myself to write. My time is also becoming more scarce by the minute. I need to find a routine. I’ve done it for everyone else now I need to do it for myself. That’s actually a whole other post. I just wanted to shed a little light on my absence. Anyway, I’ll try not to stay away for so long.

XOXO, THM

Woah! It’s been too long. For real, I really missed you guys. After an entire week without blogging I realize how much THM helps me stay sane. So, yea, vacation. I’m actually trying to come up with another term for what we went on because all my ‘vacations’ prior to this involved copious amounts of relaxing, sleeping in, drinking a bunch and spending quality time with BD. I suppose this is actually what one calls a ‘family vacation’, never again to be mistaken with a traditional ‘vacation’. Understood. I mean don’t get me wrong, there was fun but honestly there was quite a bit of stress involved. To be frank, when we arrived back at our doorstep on Saturday night, I breathed a sigh of relief.

It’s like at home there is a controlled chaos. You know what to expect. Same shit, different day. But out there, there is the unknown chaos.It can be a bit more intense and unexpected. For instance the entire trip  I was gripped by fear of Fritz falling off the dock or into the pool. Multiple sunscreen applications onto two children alone could drive a person mad. Then there were the Tchotchkies. The house we rented was full of them. On every possible surface there were shells, candles, picture frames, coasters, knick-knacks, brick-a-brack and did I mention shells? I was constantly having to tell Fritz to ‘Be careful’, ‘Don’t touch that’ and ‘I swear to god if you don’t put that down….’. It was fucking exhausting. Then here’s the kicker. I started BD on getting his scuba certification for Christmas. I bought him the online class then he was to follow up with the water instruction. He decided to do this on our ‘vacation’. For three full days I was abandoned to take care of the kids on my own. It’s not like I can’t handle it, obviously, but relaxing, ’twas not.

Ok, ok it was not exactly all out mayhem like I’m making it sound. The trip did have it’s moments. The Keys are really beautiful and I adore swimming pools, so that was pretty dreamy. Some of the finer points were things like getting to dress Lola up in summer clothes. I die for teeny tiny bathing suits. Watching Firtz and BD fish together…awwww. Picking up The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and getting lost in it’s pages whenever I got the chance. And of course our travel companions are super chill so it’s always a pleasure being with them, cooking, staying up drinking, bullshitting and playing cards. So you get the gist. Now, Spring Break 2010 in pictures…roll um!!

This is when we landed. See the look on my face? I hardly seemed phased traveling with an infant and a toddler. Not a problem.

*This message has been brought to you by Pfizer the makers of Xanax.

This is where we spent most of our days. Not too shabbay! And right behind where I took this picture from was a dock jutting out into the ocean. The diggs were great…if it wasn’t for those fucking tchotchkies.

Right about this time each night we would be eating dinner, tiki torches a-blazing.

The day after our arrival it was Easter. I was totally going to blow it off because Fritz hardly needs a giant basket full of candy (what Easter mans to me) but I copped some egg dying stuff and it turned out to be a super fun activity. He kept having me hide the eight or so eggs we dyed over and over. Pretty cute.

Killing me with cuteness.

Lolas very first swim. What a trooper. I don’t know what Fritz’s deal is but he was being a huge p-u-s-s-y about going in. He went in twice and once he was wearing a full on life jacket. Mostly he sat on the stairs. I told him how refreshing it was but he wasn’t buying it.

Like this. And he would fish in it. Oh and notice what he is wearing on his feet…Crocs!!! Nooooooo. BD picked them up for him and said that kids could get away with it. Ugh. I let it slide.

I was channeling 1950’s Florida in my plaid sundress, cat eye sunglasses and baby pink Keds. Meow!

This place was awesome! It’s been around since the forties and embodies everything kitsch about Florida. It had crocodiles, parrots, a secret cat sanctuary, snorkel lagoon for gullible tourists and a giant conch shell fountain. Amazing.

Here’s me and the kids enjoying a cool slushie at The Theater of The Sea.

Fritz had no qualms about approaching this Iguana when his dad told him to go feed it. He also came this close to falling into the sea turtle exhibit. I totally had a cow.

When we weren’t around the pool we spent some time with out asses literally stuck to this insane coral leather sectional. Also discovered a cool cartoon called Chowder.

I bribed Fritz to put on his sisters hat. I thought he looked like a Japanese tourist. He did it for a cookie.

BD was sure that he could catch us lobsters to eat for dinner. He was reborn as Lobster Man. Did he succeed??

He did! Then brought it into the pool to torment the swimmers. It was pretty small so we threw it back.

BTW BD is an avid fisherman. He caught a fucking hammer-head shark right off the dock (also thrown back). Our friend Jamie was a bit miffed that she had been swimming laps in those same waters just hours before. Eeeek.

In a moment of calm I played with my kids in bed. Everyone was happy. I think? Is Lola hissing at Fritz or just yawning? You be the judge.

We took the obligatory trip to Key West and ate at The Conch Republic. I don’t hate on a tourist trap.

I’ve never been one to pass up a wooden body photo op. Who does?

Ok, for all the shit I talked at the beginning of this post I’ll remember the family vacation through these moments we caught on film. The chaos is still fresh in my mind but will eventually fade. It was a good time. We’re going back next year!

Disney On Ice is something of a rite of passage for parents. We did it. We went, we saw, we did not give in to outrageously overpriced light up thingys! Fritz enjoyed it. I even let him drink, gasp, Diet Coke! They did not sell juice and yours truly forgot to pack it. I neeeeever let him drink soda but what the heck, you only go to Disney On Ice once…hopefully. So, I spent Sunday,Valentines day, at Disney On Ice with my family…all while spending the weekend at my mother-in-laws house. If there were a way to suck the romance out of Valentines day any more I wouldn’t know it. I’m beginning to believe Valentines may be a thing of the past. The family comes first, right? Valentines day is for lovers, not married folks with two kids, right? WRONG!! (Oh Hai denial). While I had a teriffic time with my family, I am still a firm believer in this day for sweethearts. I believe a guy should get a proper box of chocolates and flowers for their girl. My husbands beliefs, well that’s another story. And listen, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. Family days are the best days but nothing says I love you like a box of Jacque Torres Artisanal Chocolates and a bouquet of baby pink roses…ya feel me? So, here’s my question: Does your guy get it? Is Valentines only for the newly in love? Or is the whole thing just a bunch of bullshit anyway? Let’s discuss…

Ooohhhhh Pretty.

M-I-C-K-E-Y MOUSE!

N-O-S-E-B-L-E-E-D

The Littlest Valentine

A few people have asked for an update on the Fritz situation so I thought I’d fill you in. Thankfully much of the bad behavior seems to have been a result of his cold. I think the combo of feeling like crap plus most of my attention focused on Lola just made him freak out. Can you blame the kid? Three weeks ago Fritz was the center of our universe. Now I have to meet the demands of a newborn and the demands of my son and my husband. I’m constantly being pulled in three directions and unfortunately for both the boys, baby Lola trumps all for the moment. When the girl needs to eat she needs to eat.

Fritz’s first week with his sister at home was smooth. We were all very much in awe of the new baby. Week two was when the nasty cold struck and Fritz went all Jekyll and Hyde on me. Now in this third week order is being restored. Fritz is back in school and has returned to sleeping in his room the whole night through. I no longer have to shoo him away from breathing or coughing on his sister and now he can be my little helper. He’s been giving her a bottle when I get the chance to pump one and helping bathe her. When we read bedtime stories before bed he holds his baby sister in his lap. I want him to feel important and that he is the best big bro a girl could have. I’ve also made a great effort to do activities just with him. When we get home from school I give him some extra attention and alone time together. It’s a lot easier to do this now that Lola is settled in.

So essentially things feel pretty back to normal, save the general toddler hyperness and occasional tantrum. Fritz is really shaping up to be a great big brother. He’ll look at Lola and say ’she’s so pretty’, or ’she’s so tiny’. He takes his step ladder and goes over to her pack-and-play in the living room and holds her little hand. He will request that I put her on the play mat or the bouncer so she can be on the floor with him. It’s all very precious. He restored my faith in toddlers! That kid almost broke me last week. Fewww, nervous break down averted…for now anyway.

Today is my due date. Still no baby. Lola this is your mother speaking ‘You better just stay put until after Christmas little missy’. According to my doctors visit on Monday I still had made no progress in the dilation department. She was pretty confidant that I would be giving birth in the not so immediate future. We made yet another appointment for next week and scheduled a forty-one week sonogram to check whatever they need to check at forty-one weeks, amniotic fluid or something. At this point I’m just glad that it’s looking like I probably won’t be in the hospital on Christmas. Besides all that we’ve been having fun in the snow and I’m keeping busy on the couch watching chick flicks and romantic comedies. Today we are bringing home the class Guinea Pig to watch for the holidays and Fritz is gearing up for Santa. Our home feels comfy, cozy and full of holiday cheer. Merry Christmas ya’ll!!!

When it comes to movies it’s one of the only things that BD is totally uncompromising on. He is a die hard action fan and I am often subjected to movies such as Crank 2, Rambo, Layer Cake/anything Guy Richie, various westerns and Chinese/Korean/Kung Fu. Jonathan Strathham, Vin Diesel, Clint Eastwood and Jet Li being among his favorite actors. In all honesty, I enjoy these movies. I am an incredibly open minded person and can get my rocks off on several different genres of film. So why isn’t he? I understand that forcing him to sit through Bridget Jones or The Family Stone would be taking it too far but when I am forced to see Ninja Assassin over a movie like Brothers it just feels unfair! Well this is my reality, I’m used to it. I watch the movies I like on my own time. It’s gotten to the point where if I do demand on seeing a certain movie, say something like Sunshine Cleaning or Role Models, and I sense his frustration over watching the film, it’s not even enjoyable for me. I’d have to say this and not bringing his dishes to the sink are two of my biggest gripes with BD. BTW Ninja Assassin was pretty cool and I think I’m pretty cool for always being game.

What are you always giving into for the sake of being a cool chick? Restaurants? Weekend activities?

Check out this story from the NY Post about a little girl who can’t stop sneezing. The video is exasperating. She’s been sneezing non-stop for two weeks, sometimes up to sixteen times a minute. I can’t even begin to imagine how frustrating this would be. Oh yea and sort of staying on topic and I got the H1N1 vaccine today! My midwife reassured me that getting the vaccine while pregnant was not only highly recommended but totally safe. Me and BD found out that our general doctor had the vaccine and we both got the shot. Fritz is next up.  I feel kinda special knowing that I am now going to be immune from the Swine Flu. Yey I’m not gonna die!