I’ll be the first to admit that I have a pretty serious shopping addiction. Being a SHAM doesn’t help because when I’m not actually at home, I’m  out somewhere, buying something. Here’s the two latest purchases for the kids. So fresh and so clean Nike Air Maxes for Fritz and tiny Am Appy Sesame Street Tee for Lola Bean. Cute squared.

Ok, honestly, things around here have been kinda out of wack for the past couple of weeks. I’ve been pretty uninspired among a variety of other unplesent feelings. I can’t be absolutely sure, but it seems like things are finally working themselves out. Actually, let me rephrase that, after several talks, discovering the root of the stress, taking new disciplinary measures and uncovering what we are all being so goddamn bitchy about…we are working through a rough patch.

Having a a new family is really hard. Hell, life is hard and rarely does anyone just go sailing through it without a hitch. When you’re dealing with four individulas under one roof there can be a domino effect when it comes to crankiness. It just takes one person to throw the whole crew into a tailspin. The only one that seems to be immune is Lola. She also acts as the antidote to my bad moods. God bless her.

So without going into details, things just felt off around here for the last two weeks. Let’s look at the  anatomy of a ‘rough patch’. BD has the responsibility of running a company and providing for this growing family. Naturally, stress is a factor. My family is out of town for a while and we’ve had no one to watch the kids…not even for a few hours. I have virtually not a moment to myself, only in my dreams. I do the brunt of the work with the kids and it’s a 24/7 job as you probably know. I’ve said it before, we just don’t get out, me and BD, alone, and thats really hard. Fritz is really testing his limits these days and it’s exhausting constantly having to discipline and reprimand him. But we’re figuring it out. We’re addressing issues like, BD playing with the kids more, me being more understanding about his work, doing little things like simple gift giving and unselfish gestures, laying down the law with Fritz, spending more time together after the kids go to bed and to not bickering over stupid shit.

They say that this is one of the hardest times in a marriage, when the kids come. Having an infant and a toddler will test your marriage for sure. Sometimes BD and I can hardly talk to each other because Fritz is fighting for my constant attention and will just talk at me as BD and I are trying to have a conversation. I’m telling you it’s fucking crazy up in here. We face challenges all the time, but I also realize we are very, very lucky. BD and I have an incredibly strong bond, a rock solid foundation if you will. Maybe you’ve read this and are thinking ‘Uh, oh they’re in trouble’. That’s not what this is about, it’s about me sharing the challenges of being a family with you. I’ll bet most of you go through the same shit.

So, for a while I wasn’t feeling so hot. I was unfocused and dealing with things around here. I hate it when I shut down like that but I was so uninspired I just couldn’t find myself to write. My time is also becoming more scarce by the minute. I need to find a routine. I’ve done it for everyone else now I need to do it for myself. That’s actually a whole other post. I just wanted to shed a little light on my absence. Anyway, I’ll try not to stay away for so long.

XOXO, THM

As you know I gave birth to our second child, Lola, nearly four months ago. This family thing is very much in full swing. Lola is awake now. She’s an extremely well behaved baby so I feel beyond lucky that I’m not having to constantly be coddling her while having to take care of a rambunctious toddler. Lola is happy sitting in her swing, having tummy time on her play mat or strolling around the town. She flashes smiles like they’re going out of style. People crowd around her at the grocery store or at the park. She’s pretty damn beautiful. It seems that she’s also found her voice. Lola is starting to make the most adorable little squeals, which will presumably turn into full throttle shrieks. But for now her little voice fill me with delight. She is a dream. I kiss her constantly and tell her exactly how much I adore her. I’m head over heels in love with my daughter.

I have to say, Fritz is a really good big bro. It kills me when he says things like’ She’s so little’ , ‘We have to be gentle with the babies’ or ‘I love my sister’. I really think he will be her protector. I’ve seen it when I pick him up from school and another kid in his class will approach her carrier, Fritz will run over and block them from getting too close. I assume that there could be some jealousy, but outwardly he doesn’t seem to mind when I’m doting on Lola. And when I’m not reprimanding him for his crazy antics, I’m showering him with affection too. Sometimes I’ll leave the room for a few minutes and I’ll return to see Fritz cuddled up next to Lola on her play mat, both gazing up at The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

Fritz is becoming a boy before my very eyes. What a little dude. His baby years are long gone. Sometimes it’s hard to believe…full steam ahead kid. Fritz is a riot. He makes me laugh. He also drives me crazy. He is strong willed and determined. He’s cool, yet sensitive. If he finds a flower in a park he’ll pick it and bring it to me, very proud. This morning I snuck into his bed before he woke up and slipped my arm around his waist. I cuddled him awake and as he roused he turned to me and smiled. There is something so freaking special about a mother and a son. It’s hard to put into words. He’s my baby boy and always will be. And let me tell you, if there’s one thing about Fritz, the kid’s got personality. He will be loved my many, I just know it.

Sometimes I am taken aback by the fact that I am a mother of two. I am responsible for shaping two little lives. I want everything for my kids. I want to teach them to be confidant, kind and successful people. Everyday I think of new ways to do this. I want them to learn, draw, dance, sing and create.  I want them to play instruments and practice, practice, practice. Karate, Tap, Little League, Museums, Basketball, Guitar, Drums and Art class!!  I can’t wait to turn them on to all the great books that I’ve read and have them nurture their minds with the written word. I will do everything in my power to give them all the tools they need to be fullfilled and stimulated by the arts, education and physical activity. I will praise and punish to instill a proper understanding of right and wrong. All this stuff, and so much more, are my duties as a mother. I won’t do this with a hard hand but a gentle and firm one. That’s my style.

Plain and simple, I love being a mom. It’s coming very naturally for me. I never knew it would. Being a mom was never something I gave much thought to, well, before actually becoming a mom. I’m doing my best and learning something new everyday. This job takes a tremendous amount of work and  there is a huge learning curve. On a daily basis I love, I yell, I get frustrated, I cuddle, I get exhausted, I get mad, I play, I teach, I show affection, I kiss, I joke, I laugh and I love, love, love. I hope it is enough. I just want my kids to be alright. Actually I want them to be better than alright, I want them to thrive and flourish in this world. I will see to it that they are amazing people. It’s my mission and it’s why my life pretty much revolves around being a parent. Hey kiddos….it’s all for you. I hope you guys appreciate it.

Lola is in her third month of life and loving it. She’s like a Chia Pet…watch her grow!!!

Uno Dos Max Baby T-Shirt Kit available at Etsy.com

I need these in my life, like, yesterday. They will be mine. Oh yes, they will be mine.

Alexander Wang Extreme Cat Eye Glasses

I’ve been so damn busy that I’ve totally been slipping on keeping up with pop culture. I rarely have time to surf the ol’ interweb and unless it’s on in demand, I haven’t seen it. So when it came to my attention that Gawkers Hipster of the Decade, Gavin McInnes, is releasing a book of Street Boners, I asked that funny-ass muther fucker to send me a copy, toot sweet.

Well, my package came in the mail today and I was super excited to dive in for some laughs, except Fritz insisted that it was his package and proceeded to rip it open and say that it was favorite book. Ok. I mean, he’s never even been on Street Carnage before. WTF dude. Then, he actually got the book confiscated by BD while on a TO. After he got off TO, he marched his little ass upstairs with his copy of Street Boners, threw it on his bed, then jumped into the bath. Splash.

Now, I am dead serious when I tell you that this little, teeny-tiny hipster couldn’t wait for me to read him Street Boners in bed. I can get down with that, so we got under the covers and he pointed to each little photo and said ‘read mommy’. I did as I was told. I laughed at the jokes and he giggled along on que as if he totally got it. Gawd I love that little turd.  I had to insert a lot of ‘blank-ed-y, blank, blanks’ in loo of bad words but I have to say, this was the best bedtime story sesh ever. We only got through like eight pages so there are about a million more Street Boners and hipster fashion jokes to go. Can you say Win-Win!?!

To quote the back of the book ‘In short, if you hate eye candy and laughing your ass off, this book is not for you’.

Hits shelves May 27th! Buy that shit yo!

Whatzzzzzzz up! Good weekend? Mine was fine. Thanks for asking. Let’s kick this week off with a good ol’ Show Off Show Downnnnnnnnn!

Today let me introduce Ana and Gabriel. Hailing from NYC…these two are BK all day and wouldn’t have it any other way. Gabriel is fifteen months and Ana calls him Gabo for short. Ana say’s her favorite activity with G-Money is ‘chasing him, only to have him run towards me to hug me instead of running away’ . Gabo rules because he’s been spreading peace since the womb.

Short, sweet and beautiful.

Yesterday I had a chance to catch up with one of my girlfriends. This particular girlfriend happens to be about five years younger than me and hasn’t been all that lucky in love since we became friends. About six months ago she started a relationship. Now, she’s hopelessly in love. I’m really happy for her. He could be the one. I see in them exactly the same love and excitement that BD and I had when we first met. They kiss spontaneously, take showers together, giggle incessantly and are inseparable.

I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda jelz. New love is intoxicating. I had that once, I mean, we had that once. At one time BD was BF and we flittered around the city without a care in the world. I was absolutely gaga for him. He was all I could think of, all the time. The sensation of finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is amazing. Back then I dreamt of the life we now have and I got it, I got it all. I got the guy, I got the ring, I got the house and I got the kids.

What is it now five? six years later and here we are with our life and our kids. The kids. The kids change everything. Now let be be straight, I wouldn’t have it any other way. As you know I adore my children and I am still head over heels for BD, but the honeymoon is most certainly over.

When your first child comes into your lives there is a shift in the paradigm. The world no longer revolves around just the two of you. Eventually you get used to the third wheel. The first child is hard at first because you know nothing, but some months down the road a cozy threesome is not so bad. Suddenly you find that you are getting a chance to go out with friends and have dinners alone, even whole weekends. At least we did. Thanks to parents near by we had it relatively, dare I say easy, the first time around.

Que baby number two a.k.a Lola Bean. Now here we are, the four of us. Life is good but a far cry from our first years together as a couple. What were we expecting? When I saw my friend and her new BF today I got totally sad after I left. BD and I haven’t been alone in ages. Almost all my love and affection goes to the kids. They are demanding as hell. I can only imagine that he feels somewhat neglected. Sometimes I feel neglected too. We have our moments of reflection on how good we have it but these kids do a number on your relationship. It’s not exciting right now. After the kids are in bed I’m spent. The routine is too precise. He plays Call of Duty. I go to my computer. We read. It’s fucking boring! We can’t go out together. He goes out and I resent him for it. I can’t go out at all.

It’s so easy to put the relationship on the back burner but it’s the worst possible thing you can do. We are the reason this family exists. If we don’t nurture and reinvent our our relationship as our lives change the inevitable will happen. The fact is we are in a rut. We have a three month old infant and a demanding toddler. We need a jolt. Possibly a heart to heart? Friday night chess games (an old pastime of ours)?  Date night? Late night dinner in our dining room when the kids are in bed? Nap-time romps? We need to connect without the kids. I worship my family but sometimes I miss just us. What’s a girl to do?

Did you ever feel like staging a murder suicide for Max and Ruby? Does Dora’s squeaky voice make you want to ride the porcelain bus? Do you secretly wish that Elmo would just pack his shit and leave Sesame Street…forever? Well there’s a cure for your cartoon blues; the Boomerang channel. If you haven’t tuned in, Boomerang syndicates all the old favorites like The Smurfs, Tom & Jerry, The Pink Panther, Popeye, Yogi Bear, Banana Splits and many more. As of late, Fritz has shuned the modern cartoons for these old school classics.

On a typical day we usually flick on the TV around five-thirty when I begin dinner. Instead of hearing the high energy ‘COME ON VAMANOS! Everybody let’s go!…’ I get to hear the smooth stylings of Henry Mancini, ‘Da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dummmmmmm’. I love that Fritz is into these vintage cartoons and  I feel as if I get to re-live my youth just a little bit. I had all but forgotten about Gargamel and Captain Caveman. Boomerang is totally a win-win.

Woah! It’s been too long. For real, I really missed you guys. After an entire week without blogging I realize how much THM helps me stay sane. So, yea, vacation. I’m actually trying to come up with another term for what we went on because all my ‘vacations’ prior to this involved copious amounts of relaxing, sleeping in, drinking a bunch and spending quality time with BD. I suppose this is actually what one calls a ‘family vacation’, never again to be mistaken with a traditional ‘vacation’. Understood. I mean don’t get me wrong, there was fun but honestly there was quite a bit of stress involved. To be frank, when we arrived back at our doorstep on Saturday night, I breathed a sigh of relief.

It’s like at home there is a controlled chaos. You know what to expect. Same shit, different day. But out there, there is the unknown chaos.It can be a bit more intense and unexpected. For instance the entire trip  I was gripped by fear of Fritz falling off the dock or into the pool. Multiple sunscreen applications onto two children alone could drive a person mad. Then there were the Tchotchkies. The house we rented was full of them. On every possible surface there were shells, candles, picture frames, coasters, knick-knacks, brick-a-brack and did I mention shells? I was constantly having to tell Fritz to ‘Be careful’, ‘Don’t touch that’ and ‘I swear to god if you don’t put that down….’. It was fucking exhausting. Then here’s the kicker. I started BD on getting his scuba certification for Christmas. I bought him the online class then he was to follow up with the water instruction. He decided to do this on our ‘vacation’. For three full days I was abandoned to take care of the kids on my own. It’s not like I can’t handle it, obviously, but relaxing, ’twas not.

Ok, ok it was not exactly all out mayhem like I’m making it sound. The trip did have it’s moments. The Keys are really beautiful and I adore swimming pools, so that was pretty dreamy. Some of the finer points were things like getting to dress Lola up in summer clothes. I die for teeny tiny bathing suits. Watching Firtz and BD fish together…awwww. Picking up The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and getting lost in it’s pages whenever I got the chance. And of course our travel companions are super chill so it’s always a pleasure being with them, cooking, staying up drinking, bullshitting and playing cards. So you get the gist. Now, Spring Break 2010 in pictures…roll um!!

This is when we landed. See the look on my face? I hardly seemed phased traveling with an infant and a toddler. Not a problem.

*This message has been brought to you by Pfizer the makers of Xanax.

This is where we spent most of our days. Not too shabbay! And right behind where I took this picture from was a dock jutting out into the ocean. The diggs were great…if it wasn’t for those fucking tchotchkies.

Right about this time each night we would be eating dinner, tiki torches a-blazing.

The day after our arrival it was Easter. I was totally going to blow it off because Fritz hardly needs a giant basket full of candy (what Easter mans to me) but I copped some egg dying stuff and it turned out to be a super fun activity. He kept having me hide the eight or so eggs we dyed over and over. Pretty cute.

Killing me with cuteness.

Lolas very first swim. What a trooper. I don’t know what Fritz’s deal is but he was being a huge p-u-s-s-y about going in. He went in twice and once he was wearing a full on life jacket. Mostly he sat on the stairs. I told him how refreshing it was but he wasn’t buying it.

Like this. And he would fish in it. Oh and notice what he is wearing on his feet…Crocs!!! Nooooooo. BD picked them up for him and said that kids could get away with it. Ugh. I let it slide.

I was channeling 1950’s Florida in my plaid sundress, cat eye sunglasses and baby pink Keds. Meow!

This place was awesome! It’s been around since the forties and embodies everything kitsch about Florida. It had crocodiles, parrots, a secret cat sanctuary, snorkel lagoon for gullible tourists and a giant conch shell fountain. Amazing.

Here’s me and the kids enjoying a cool slushie at The Theater of The Sea.

Fritz had no qualms about approaching this Iguana when his dad told him to go feed it. He also came this close to falling into the sea turtle exhibit. I totally had a cow.

When we weren’t around the pool we spent some time with out asses literally stuck to this insane coral leather sectional. Also discovered a cool cartoon called Chowder.

I bribed Fritz to put on his sisters hat. I thought he looked like a Japanese tourist. He did it for a cookie.

BD was sure that he could catch us lobsters to eat for dinner. He was reborn as Lobster Man. Did he succeed??

He did! Then brought it into the pool to torment the swimmers. It was pretty small so we threw it back.

BTW BD is an avid fisherman. He caught a fucking hammer-head shark right off the dock (also thrown back). Our friend Jamie was a bit miffed that she had been swimming laps in those same waters just hours before. Eeeek.

In a moment of calm I played with my kids in bed. Everyone was happy. I think? Is Lola hissing at Fritz or just yawning? You be the judge.

We took the obligatory trip to Key West and ate at The Conch Republic. I don’t hate on a tourist trap.

I’ve never been one to pass up a wooden body photo op. Who does?

Ok, for all the shit I talked at the beginning of this post I’ll remember the family vacation through these moments we caught on film. The chaos is still fresh in my mind but will eventually fade. It was a good time. We’re going back next year!