Alright guys we’re off! I may or may not get a chance to give you a Berlin update while we’re away, so if not you’ll get the full report when we get back. I’ll leave you with this…

Later!!!!!

In a few day’s BD and I will be getting on a plane, flying over the Atlantic and landing in Berlin Tegel Airport. Just me and him. We will be alone for eight whole days. The kids are being left behind and will be looked after by my parents here in New York. On the one hand I am so excited to see a new city and be alone with BD, but on the other hand I am scared to death to leave. Emotionally speaking, I’m split right down the middle about this trip.

I’ve actually been having quite a bit of anxiety about leaving. First of all, I’m convinced that we’re probably going to go down in a fiery ball of flames and the kids will be left parentless. Worrying about this is obviously pointless because the trip is booked and we’re going, but ever since I’ve had kids I’ve become a total freak about flying. The mere thought of them having to live their lives with out us breaks my heart into a million pieces. But what kind of way is this to live? I was always fearless and carefree but these kids have changed all of that. So, this is what I play over and over in my head, mommy and daddy selfishly took a trip to Berlin and left us orphans.

My number two fear is that the people who raised me, my mom and dad, somehow won’t be able to handle two kids for a whole week on their own. I’m driving myself nuts thinking about all the terrible things that could happen while I’m away. And another thing is, I think I’m so damn attached to them that I’m going to suffer from a classic case of homesickness while abroad. When Fritz was little he had a nanny, so I was used to leaving him in someone else’s care on a regular basis. That definatly softened the blow when it came to traveling a few years ago. But now with Lola, and all the time I spend with the both of them every single day, well the thought of being with out them for so long makes me pretty sad.

But…here are my other feelings about leaving. BD and I can do what ever we please for eight whole days and nights. We won’t have to yell at, or discipline anyone for eight whole days…and nights. We will have a whole new world of topics to fuel our conversations. We will see new things, eat delicious food, lolligag in parks and cafes, chatting and reading. Did you know BD is German and speaks the language fluently? We’re meeting some German friends there too. We can go to a nightclub, stay out until 5 am, sleep in and hit a beer garden with out any repercussions. And most of all we will be able to be alone and experience a part of our relationship that we haven’t for what feels like a very long time. The thought of escaping and being a couple for an entire week is about as exciting as it gets right now.

So you see my dilemma right?

Here’s Lola in her fourth month! This is going to be a really great thing for her to look back at. I’m sure Fritz is gonna be totally jellz.

Uno Dos Max!

I hate to be complainy but here’s the deal, I’ve been feeling really weird lately. My motivation is low and I’m kinda uninspired. I’m all over the place too, like, I can’t focus on or finish things I start. Look, I know have a lot to be happy about, but at the same time, it’s all kinda new, stressful and a lot to take in. Of course I’m talking about the fact that I am now a mother of two, SAHM and I’m trying to balance myself, the kids and my marriage. I guess you could also say, now that I’ve had baby I’m asking myself, what’s next? I think I’ve been having a little bit of a pity party. Wahhhh, wahhh, wahhh.

Well, I had a realization today. I was having a lazy Sunday morning and suddenly got the urge to go out and do something different. I got on Time Out Kids and looked up something to do. I came upon a magic show at a cute little spot in downtown Manhattan called Joe’s Pub. I’d partied there until the wee hours before but had never been there during daylight hours. BD had been out late the night before so I was letting him sleep. I had gotten a rare chance to go out Friday night so he had done the same for me Saturday morning. There’s another thing…I can go out now on occasion, because Lola’s on formula, but we just can’t go out together. Like I said wahhhh, whaaa, wahh.

The show was at twelve, and it was nine fourty-five, so we had to get a move on. I got myself and everyone ready, drove there and arrived early to make sure we got tickets. Joe’s Pub was all dark and swanky like it is when you go there at night. The Magicians were old school and the show was a tribute to the late Dr. Abraham B. Hurwitz, New York City’s “Official Magician”.  We got awesome seats on a super puffy red velvet couch, even a corner section! The show was cute and hacky. We all had a great time. Lola was totally watching a lady juggler and Fritz was very excited about card tricks, hankies and a contraption that nearly cutoff two audience members hands. The only thing lacking was a rabbit being pulled out of a top hat.

Now comes the huge realization…on the car ride home I thought to myself I live in New York City and I don’t do shit! Then I thought, If I want to have fun and be really super happy, I have to get off my ass, out of my house and do something about it. Does doing the same damn routine everyday make me happy? NO!  My routine is so precise. I cannot live like this. I need balance, I need culture and most of all I need to get out of the fucking house!!! I love my home, but enough already!

Going out with with kids to do something out of the ordinary made me feel great. And the show was actually pretty grown up, there were all of five kids there and they were much older than Fritz, so it felt like it was kind of for me too. Basically, I know I need to make the effort during the week to check stuff out, go to a different park, in a different neighborhood, go to museums, cruise different shops, meet with friends and get a bite to eat in a new restaurant every once and a while!  I need to change it up. And I think with that, will come happiness, inspiration and a sense of balance. Since I don’t work I need to get out and be amoungst the people of the world every so often for christ sakes (and not at the market, preschool or coffee shop I go to every single day). Enough is enough! I’m goin for it! Time to strap on (hehe, strap on) the Baby Bjorn and hit the streets. I gave myself a pep-talk today and I’m feeling rejuvenated. Let’s hope this attitude adjustment can give me a bit of extra energy and a fresh perspective on things. Nothin’ to it but to do it, right?

I’m over T.V and all these damn ’shows’. Skins, Weeds, Damages, they’ll all be there in a few months. A show here and there, maybe, but marathon nights cracking-out on addictive cable series are over! I love getting lost in a good book and I’ve been stock piling. So you know, my favorite genres are coming of age, chick-lit, comedic fiction, mommy-lit and auto-biographies. I like to be entertained. I also love dark weird stuff a la Chuck Palahniuk and laugh-out-loud memoirs by authors like David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs (who doesn’t!). I’m also really into gritty, drug related tales from the likes of Iceberg Slim, Donald Goins, James Frey and Elizabeth Wurtzel. Here’s a few titles I’ve added to my summer reading list…

Currently reading: The Girl That Played With Fire by Stieg Larsson

Warring do not pick up the first in the series, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, if you don’t want to commit reading all three of these insanely addictive books which total nearly 3,000 pages. I’v never been one for crime/mystery books, but on our trip to Florida last month I picked the first up at a little book shop in the Keys with not much of a selection. I figured I couldn’t go wrong with a best seller. I spent the next two weeks reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo every chance I got. These books are incredible and now I’m engrossed in the second in the series. I can’t praise these books enough. Definition of page turner.

Next Up: The Seven Year Bitch by Jennifer Belle

Jennifer Belle is awesome. Her books are hilarious and fall into the chick-lit category. The characters are smart, ridiculous, neurotic and funny. I adore her books. High Maintenance is one of my all time favorites and Little Stalker made me giggle the whole way through. Now Jennifer Belle has crossed over to mommy-lit with The Seven Year Bitch. I’m so tempted to pick it up and simultaneously read this and the above. Call me crazy!

And The Heart Says Whatever by Emily Gould

I read the NYT’s Magazine cover story on the former Gawker editor a few years ago and wanted more. The article was an honest look into the life of a young writer and the consequences of over-sharing. I don’t know much more about her than what I read in that cover story but two months ago I saw that her book was coming out and I pre-ordered. I’m itching to dive into Emily Gould’s first book.

Hollywood Wives by Jackie Collins

I’m going there! I absolutely judge a book by it’s cover and when I saw the cover for her latest novel, Poor Little Bitch Girl, I decided right then and there I needed to get into Jackie Collins. So I’ll start at the beginning with Hollywood Wives.

How could you resist this….

Tell All by Chuck Palahnluk

If you’re a fan read the review on Amazon from Publishers Weekly.  I like the pop-tastic feel of this one. Ekkkkkk!!!

*Image not Lola

Lola is officially weened and on formula. I feel horrible about it. The main reason was because in a few weeks BD and I are taking a trip to Berlin. We are going alone. My parents insisted that they would watch the kids and we should go. So we grabbed the opportunity and booked the trip. It’s something we’d been talking about since way before I got pregnant. While I’m very excited to have some much needed alone time with BD and visit a new city but I’m also having tremendous guilt about leaving the kids. That’s another topic all together. I’ll get to that this week.

The point of this post is formula. What’s best for baby? I posted last night on Twitter this same question and got a few responses. I thought that this would be a better venue for a convo about the topic. Also I’m specifically interested if anyone is using Earth’s Best Organic Formula. I spontaneously switched from Similac Advanced to Earth’s Best when I saw it on the shelf at Babies R Us. I figured that an organic product would be better choice for baby. I’d used Earth’s Best jar food with Fritz and felt that they made good products. But I feel really bad because since switching about four or five days ago she’s taken about two poops. Lola seems perfectly happy but when is she going to get acclimated to the new formula?

Another question is how do you prepare bottles, warm them and wash/sterilize? Let’s talk formula feeding!

Hey party people, me and Lola will be selling all kinds of cool stuff at The Williamsburg Northside Preschool 2nd Annual Flea Market tomorrow. Come say hi and take a gander. Meet us at North 5th and Bedford. Lola will be signing autographs.

Check out my moms latest creation for lil’ Lola Bean. How cute is this poncho?

Just like that, in a flash, the monster has fled back to his cave. Fritz’s equilibrium has shifted and he is once again acting, for the most part, like a good kid. When you are going through a bad spell you think your kid is never going to return to the child you once knew. Each time that nasty attitude rears it’s ugly head you ask yourself ‘Is this it? Is this the way it’s gonna be…for forever’ So we’ve escaped another episode. I will cherish every moment until the next one. Let me tell you a few things that Fritz has done good in the past couple of days. He was drawing me a picture when I picked him up at school the other day and he came running up to give it to me. Awesome. He’s been going to bed like a champ. He’s been waking up and playing with toys in his room in the morning. He comes in to our room to say good morning to Lola. He’s been eating his food and proud of it. He’s been playing chef when I’m cooking in the kitchen. He made it all the way through Mother’s Day breakfast without a meltdown. He’s picking up his toys and just generally being cute and fun loving. Thank fucking god. The kid is alright…or maybe it was all that great advice you guys gave me!

So I was featured in a mothers day installment of Hipster Runoff’s Alt Report. I’m flattered to be made fun of by one of the funniest bros on the net. I’d like this time to say how truly laughable the whole ‘Hipster Mom’ thing is. In ‘real life’ I don’t consider myself a hipster. I’m too diverse for that. I don’t like one kind of music or dress one certain way. But I do simply think, I’m a pretty ‘hip’ mom. ‘The Hipster Mom’ name came from someone saying it to me in passing three years ago. At that moment I decided to start this blog as a place for me to talk about my life as a mom. Then I went home, registered the domain and the rest is history. Pegging yourself as anything ‘hipster’ is a total joke these days (or any day) and I can see how it’s a target. But guess what it’s fun! I love this blog and I love my readers…so haters, hate on! XOXO The Hipster Mom