by samantha on December 8, 2010


Please, just let me bitch for a second. Fritz is sick, Lola’s getting sick and I feel like a hot mess. My brain is mush, my concentration is shot and I’ve abandoned exercise for at least a week now. As usual I’m beating myself up about it, about all of it, the exercise, the sloppy blogging and the thankless imbibing.

But in my defense here’s what I’m dealing with, example…last night 5-11:00 p.m- kids, kids, kids, cook, eat dinner, put kids to bed (BD asleep on couch) until 9 p.m, proceed to drink 3/4 bottle of wine, watch Dexter and fall asleep around 11 p.m. 3:30 a.m- Lola cry’s, I retrieve bottle downstairs. 3:15 a.m- Lola keeps stirring. 3:20- Fritz has coughing fit. 3:40 a.m- Lola fully awake giggling in her crib, Fritz demands medicine. 3:45 a.m- I attempt to go back to bed. 3:50 a.m- Fritz yells that his water “tastes gross” and I bring him my water, Lola standing up banging on side of crib. 3:58 a.m- Lola still awake fussing, I wiggle around on my belly trying to locate pacifier under crib in dark. I score. 4:15 a.m- Fritz has another coughing fit, I get up and curse life, Lola still awake. 4:30 a.m- I throw in the towel and climb in Fritz’s bed and rub his back. I figure instead of getting up and out of my bed for the bizillionth time I’ll just sleep in their room. It works. Peace is restored from 5:00-7:00 a.m. But lemme tell ya, it was an hour-and-a-half of pure middle of the night chaos.

Today I happened to have scheduled a sitter so I could get some “work” done. Actually, I’m working on a super special top secret project to add more crazy to my life. Eh, why not? More on that another time. Anyway, going back to bed after the sitter arrived at 9:00 this morning sounded delightful, but I just couldn’t do it. Now here I am, zombified. It’s freezing and I feel like poo…frozen poo. I need to pull it together, get back on track…I’m flying of the rails on this crazy train.

Feel free to complain with me in the comments about a) The Weather b) Your kids c) Your significant other d) Your life in general e) All of the above and then some.

Category:Me, Me, Me, On The Verge | Tags:

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catherine December 8, 2010 at 12:49 pm

my office xmas party is tomorrow at a supperclub and i have a hot dress but i have a 3-month pregnancy bump that makes me look super bloated, not really pregnant. i just feel fat now :(

Amanda December 8, 2010 at 1:34 pm

That night sounds like full on hell! Props to you for being a badass mom because I seriously would have cried at some point.

Things To Bitch About-
1. My son has pretty much given up on naps. Hasn’t had one in a week or two and those naps were my lifeline. I’m pretty annoyed that they’re gone.
2. This weather is drying out my skin and my hands are getting it the worst.
3. I haven’t had any fast food in about a month, I’ve been making good, healthy meals, been drinking a ton of water, exercising and nada. No weight lost.
4. The Holidays- shopping, going broke due to shopping, running around all over the place to visit everybody, parties depleting reserves, etc.
5. I don’t have nearly enough vodka to deal with all the aforementioned.

adriana December 8, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Im with Amanda…I totally would have cried so props for holdin it together. Im annoyed because we are moving next Tuesday and now i have to pack. Ugh and the husband has been workin like crazy and since he dj’s he works at night so ive been on my own 6 out of 7 nights this week.
Also, I havent even really started shoppin for xmas.
Im excited to hear about your top secret project. : )

CarlaGiovanna December 8, 2010 at 2:16 pm

1. It’s winter and it’s coooold and I get really bad seasonal depression which I’m already experiencing, one freakin’ week into December. I want to kick Old Man Winter in his frosty nutsack.

2. I have had a milk blister (or a “bleb”, lovely word) on my nipple for the past two months and it causes me to have plugged milk ducts constantly. Just when I think it’s getting better I get engorged in a seriously painful way again and it makes me grouchy. Last month I had full blown Mastitis from it and it’s flared up again. SO MAD. AND SORE.

3. My son is getting his molars in right now so he wakes up A LOT during the night, mostly to comfort nurse. I’ve been getting a lousy sleep lately which is adding to my constant feelings of crankiness.

I need some serious ME time. A pedicure, hot bath (BY MYSELF), my hair did, a new tattoo…SOMETHING.

I feel ya lady!

kri December 8, 2010 at 2:23 pm

I agree with the above ladies … I would probably cry for 2 days. My set of problems are different, but just as annoying. I live in the f-n Midwest and it has decided to suddenly swap places with Antartica. I hate this weather, this lack of warmth and sunlight. I am wondering why I still live here. I have no motivation and I desperately need to get it together. My husband goes to school during the day and works 2nd shift so he is never home and our parenthood balance has now fallen all on me. I rarely see him. Our son rarely see’s him. Jules and I are together ALL the time. I need a break, 5 drinks, and a couple of good girlfriends. This household is so lonely these days :(

alissa December 8, 2010 at 3:53 pm

my daughter makes 15 months on saturday. she still wakes up about every 2 hours.
kill me fucking now please.
i’m broke. thats shitty enough but oh hello, holidays. i’d just LOVE to spend all the money i dont have on gifts for people who dont need them.
theres much more too but instead of listing them i’ll just sit nicely and try to guess what your secret project is :]

Nessienessa December 8, 2010 at 9:40 pm

Man I hate when I have one of those nights you just described. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck the next day. I’ve been trying to hang on to the holiday cheer even though (here we go!) : we are so effin broke and dealing with my husband’s new schedule while my daughter is teething SO hardcore and also doing the whole power struggle thing with us on the daily. She screams out of frustration for almost anything that doesn’t go her way. I am SOFUCKINGOVERIT but got damn I love that girl. SO yeah- BD’s new schedule is 10 pm to 8 am so that means I sleep alone at night, he sleeps alone in the day and I am kinda the ‘main parent’ that tries to keep the peace in the daytime so daddy can sleep but remember….screaming toddler. Everywhere we go- scream after scream. I’m afraid to have a drink because then I’ll feel the exhaustion catch up and then it’ll be one of those nights where baby wakes me up in the middle of the night and I’m the only one here sooo…FML.

shawnie December 9, 2010 at 12:41 pm

wow wow wow….and to think i thought i was all alone. i am sorry but i smiled after reading this post…i feel your pain. for the last 5 days my 11 1/2 month old son has been shrieking bloody murder at 2:30am and getting up at 5am…mind you i have to be at work at 9am. so i feel ya GURL on that zombie feeling. it is carzy how much out sleep is affected with these adorable monsters. and i dont know bout yall but what is up with the BD not waking up in the morn. it bothered me a lot when after 6 weeks of our son being born he decided the family room was his new room and the pull out sofa was his new bed. It really urrrkked me. had resentment building like a mofo…but i have slowly gotten over it…i dont mind having the whole bed to myself now. BUT one thing i cant get over that really gets to me…is that he has never once gotten up in the morn with our baby. scratch that he did give me a bday present which was that he wouldwake up with our baby on my bday…too bad it was the worst night cause the babe was waking up every 3 hours and my BD walked down at 6am shouting “are you going to get up” ugggh and to top it off broke oh so broke but at least i am surrounded by so much love.

p December 9, 2010 at 7:58 pm

I’m with everybody. But Alissa, you made me sputter; there was something about the way you said that kill me now shit that was so fucking funny. And Ness, I’m with you on the screamy mcscreampants toddler GARBAGE. Homegirl is 13 months and is a ball-busting motherfucker. Yup, I said it.
I love you ALL for pain-sharing. To paraphrase Shawnie, misery lurves company. Samantha, thanks for the bitchspace.

Jen December 9, 2010 at 9:12 pm

I’m in grad school and working about 12 hours a day then often relieving BD so he can go DJ (@adriana I feel you, girl). We are really effing broke, which especially sucks when I’m working my ass off for little pay (in fact, for no pay at one job). Sometimes when I get finished with my school projects at 2 am, my 7 month old little guy will wake up an hour later and stay up for a few hours. Wake up at 7, work ass off and repeat. I need sleep, sex, alcohol, a multitude of beauty services, and a babysitter immediately, please.

Exhale. We are all superwomen!!

Lucy December 13, 2010 at 8:45 pm

I found out that I’m getting laid off from my job early next year. This would be the first (and only – read the ONLY people that would interview me. Not even Burger King, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell would interview me. Apparently having a degree does not guarrantee you a job serving people fries) job I got in a new country after moving here and attempting to adapt to culture shock so severe that I lost all my confidence and ate my way to gaining 100lbs which I’m now trying to lose (badly). Now I have to look for a new job in a small town where no one understands my british accent anyway. Whenever I say anything at all it’s followed with a chorus of “do whaaat?” – most irritating. And if they do understand me, I get the obligatory “I just LOVE your accent!” Then they just want me to “say something like Hugh Grant”. I’m a woman so that tends to not work as well obviously.
My husband and I are also broke. Mostly because if you come to the USA legally then you seem to get the joy of paying through the nose to make up for all the people that don’t. So far we have literally spent thousands of dollars on simply filing forms let alone actually bringing me here, paying for flights and two people’s living expenses. And all on his salary because I couldn’t work for the first 6 months I was here as they were processing my paperwork. We’re still trying to get out of THAT hole so obviously losing my job really is the icing on the cake. I’m still trying to find out if I am allowed to claim unemployment because I’m not a citizen – unfortunately it looks like it might be no – wonderful.
I’m 29 and having some kind of “pre 30′s” crisis. I feel like I’ve got nothing to show for the last ten years. I’m a christian who is resentful of having spent the last few years working for other christians and feel like I’ve lost my 20′s but I can’t obviously actually ever mention the resentment. Especially to other christians otherwise I’m letting the side down. Nothing worse than a miserable one. Doesn’t sell too well. Plus most of the time I don’t really feel like loving everyone and being kind like Jesus – I feel like kicking them in the shins and telling them to piss off. Obviously you can’t admit to that either.
I got married last year and alternate between desperately wanting a child or ten and never wanting to even babysit. Is this normal? After reading all the mum’s rants here, I’m leaning towards sticking with my seven (I know – obviously child substitutes) dogs. And to make me look more crazy they’re all chihuahua’s.
Also I changed my birth control a few months ago – it’s made me crazy. Like CRAZY. I literally cried my eyes out at a Kay Jewellers advert the other day and I haven’t made any friend’s where I live because I just can’t be bothered so I just talk to people online and pretend that makes up for it.
Admittedly, the pill may be the reason for all of the above (not the weight – that was Dove chocolate). Or alternatively it all might be because I’m English and therefore my national identity is to complain. Which is another irritating thing – I am a serial complainer who is surrounded by people who seem to LIVE to see the glass as being half full. It’s maddening.
Whoever told you a stiff upper lip was the English thing must have been British and trying to make us look better. Really we make complaining a national sport. If it was allowed into the Olympics, we would FINALLY win something. And don’t even get me started on the WEATHER (another superb English compaint topic). I live in GA which has two seasons. Humid and so hot that you sweat just standing there – again – bonus if you’re fat right? And of course, the other season – apparently freezing cold. So cold and weird that if you don’t put lotion on every day then your skin cracks. I spent my first winter here thinking I was suffering from some kind of bizarre continuous paper cut problem.
My sex drive seems to have disappeared (pill?) which is, to be honest, crap for year one of being married. I’ve taken to shaving my legs only once a week. And I don’t have a crazy schedule to blame it on.
However, having made my complaint, I do have to hand it to all of you mums. You really do have it worse. And on SO little sleep. I respect you all for not stabbing the person in the line at walmart who cuts in front of you. I’m sure you could blame it on just having a family or something.

Lucy December 14, 2010 at 4:49 am

and by the way, I just wanted to say thanks for the blog. It gives me hope that if I ever DO have kids then there are others out there who don’t have it all together all of the time and who don’t mind to admit that life kicks their arse sometimes. The (seemingly) constant stream of “crafty, super mum – plus did I mention I bake AND keep my house clean?” blogs was starting make me lose my will to live.

beautylogicblog December 15, 2010 at 12:27 pm

I totally get it. The last few weeks, my lil man has not slept at night. i’m going psycho too. I get it. When he sleeps soundly during the day, I got to do house chores. So long story short, I’m BEAT.

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