This question comes from Emily:
How did you get your kids to sleep? I have an 8 month old who hates sleeping. I’m dying for advice!! Sleep training, CIO, drug em’ ??? JK
My Answer:
I’ll give you a few pointers for 8 months and beyond. The first order of business may be a tough pill to swallow but I’m a firm believer that (especially if your child is still in a crib) you have to put them down, say goodnight, give them a kiss and just walk away. The more you coddle them the harder it will get. Mark my words. I can remember sitting outside Fritz’s door attentively listening to him cry, feeling his pain, but I toughed it out and for the most part he went to bed great after a few rough nights. The biggest sleeping problem with him came when he began sneaking in our room and sleeping in our bed….but that’s another question altogether.
With Lola it’s been a different story. Right from the get go I put her to bed at the same time each night like clockwork. It was easy because she was my second and I always had to deal with Fritz’s night time routine so I wanted to get her down then sort out Fritz. Somehow Lola became a great sleeper by default.
I also want to touch on the idea that routine is essential before you say sayonara to your little sweethearts. If there is one thing that I’ve learned having two kids, it’s that routine is king. Lose your routine, lose your mind. It’s critical that you begin routines early. When they are young start with stuff like bath, jammy time, story or song…lights out. I also used a little milk in a bottle or sippy cup with Lola when she was young. In the last 6 months when we moved and they began to sleep in bunk beds we all do the routine together. It’s very sweet and I get them both to bed by 8:15/8:20 on school nights. It goes something like this: 10 minutes to 8 jammies, both kids brush, Fritz pees, Lola gets a diaper change, they put their pillows on the floor and each request blankets, I read 2 stories and then their dad comes in a makes up a story. For the most part that’s it. I say good night and sometimes have to bribe and/or threaten them with something if they’re acting up. Voilá!
Last pointer is for the child who wakes in the night. Not to boast but for the most part Fritz and Lola sleep through the night. Fritz is old enough that he’ll just yell out that he has to pee and I’ll take him to the bathroom. Easy enough. With Lola, ever since she was little, if she wakes in the night I give it a few minutes and see she’ll go back to bed. If not I check if she’s wet. If not I try a little milk and leave her with the sippy cup. That usually does the trick.
I hope this helps. Just remember, be firm, you run the show. Repeat after me “I’m the Mommy. I make the rules. I love you baby but it’s time for bed.”
XOXO, The Hipster Mom
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
With sitting outside your sons door and listening to him cry, would you ever go back in? like wait 10 mins then check, then wait 10 more? Or would you just wait til he fell asleep? Im trying to sleep train my son and its a nightmare!
@Jessica Hummm I think usually by 15 mins he was usually calm or asleep. Maybe the longest I went was 20. But I remember thinking if I go in and he sees me I’m going to have to start over. I’m pretty sure kids don’t cry themselves to death so don’t worry, you just might feel kinda guilty. I really think for a week you stick to your guns and see what happens. If it doesn’t work maybe add something else like a white noise machine or lullabies on an ipod dock. It’s not meant to be torture but I think they need to soothe themselves in a sense. But again…my kids weren’t terrible sleepers. I didn’t breastfeed long so we didn’t have that nightly attachment. It was just very routine and I never had too difficult of a time with it. Or maybe the method works. Let me know.
Thanks for replying! He was breastfed until 11 months and is now 15 monnths. Im 20 weeks preggo with number 2 and need this figured out before the new baby comes!! With definitely try all that out
Thanks so much for your response Samantha!! Ive been pretty good about letting him figure out how to self soothe and fall aslepp on his own. Man it was damn tough listening to him cry but it does lessen every time. Im just glad to have some reassurance that it will all work out in the end. Like I said, he’s almost 9 months now and I just now slowly weaned him off nursing night feedings. Fingers crossed…but hes slept 12+ hours straight the past 3 nights in a row!!!!! This is HUGE!!!
This is the best sleep advice I’ve ever read on the internet or on any parenting blog. It’s pretty much how I trained my bebeh from the get go. I fully support this post.