Recently I went on a family vacation and spent some time with a bunch family members that I don’t see very often. While I was chatting with one of my cousins she mentioned that my aunt always said that I was a bad girl. I wasn’t shocked to hear that I got that label. I’ve always been daring. For a long time my life was filled with thrills and debauchery. I’ve escaped the long arm of the law (just barely) on many occasions. I spent a few years flying around on the back of a motorcycle with my boyfriend (turned husband) and his motorcycle crew (Legion of Doom). Their leaders name was Lucifer, just sayin’. I’ve partied along side Michael Allig at Disco 2000. I’ve lived in big cities and small towns. I published a magazine with a group of amazingly talented girls. I owned a boutique. I was proposed to at dusk overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge. I got married at City Hall in New York City. I’ve given birth to two beautiful kids. And that’s the super short list. So now, in someways, I feel like it’s all come to a grinding hault.
Don’t get me wrong, I am happy and so grateful for every single thing that I have, but the excitement feels like it’s behind me. Which for a person who’s been on full throttle since, oh say eleven, that’s an adjustment. I supposed it takes some getting used to. But I have to wonder, is the thrill really gone? One thing I know for sure is that my idea of excitement needs to change. Maybe I need to take up dirt biking or travel to distant lands, because the kind of excitement that I’ve indulged in for most of my life is not appropriate, or possible, with 2 kids. If anyone else feels this way raise your hand. How do we reinvent thrill seeking? What can get us so excited that the synapses in our brains are having a spazz attack like they used to? Because I miss that! Or are we supposed to pass the torch to the next generation and calm the fuck down? Please, someone answer me this, how do we moms get our kicks?
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