Mean Girls
May 26, 2009
Even though this is a book for young adults I’m interested in giving it a gander. Judging from what went on here last week, this wouldn’t be a bad read for any of us. What is the psychology that makes girls gossip, pick on and spew hate on one another?? Shit talking is a tradition that I’m pretty sure women have been engaging in since the beginning of time. Is it right, not at all. So why do we thrive off it? All these questions and more reveled in Bonnie Burtons Girls Against Girls: Why We Are Mean to Each Other and How We Can Change.
But really, why do you think we are so mean to eachother??
[Via Geek Dad]
Man I cant believe people were so unbelievably cruel. I mean goddamn show some respect you’re a mom. Man I can just imagine if people said shit like that about my moms way of raising me. You know some bitches would be picking teeth off the floor, best be happy Fritz aint old enough to read all that. I dont know why women feel the need to hate on women who are in any way successful, pretty or intelligent or . Sorry to ramble but this post just made me remember all that highschool drama attitude that youd think women would get over as they got older but I guess not.
i think it has something to do with the fact that since the beginning of time it has always been socially accpetable for men to express their anger with one another physically, where women were not allowed to do so. instead of handling it the way men do, we had to learn a more devious and underhanded way to cope with our frustrations, i. e. shit talking and back stabbing. it’s never ok for girls to act out violently, but it sure is ok for us to gossip about each other to the point of ruining lives.
I think that the really lazy, inexperienced and entitled young girls (I would not dare venture to call them women-they are not) have some sort of “Poor me, oh look how I have been wronged” syndrome after being laid off of their first pretty major blogging gig. It is silly and a waist of time. Add that to the comments section and many other followers will come out and speak about what they think happened. There is a reason that we as adults have mellowed out, and that is due to experience and the harsh realities of the real world. I am truly disgusted. I had respect for what I thought were two writers who are young and inexperienced in dealing with the work force. I have no respect for anyone who thinks that being laid off gives them the right to attack their former employer in the public forum as a way to try to gain sympathy and press for their own sites. I saw this on a 30+ year old woman’s site/blog and was even more appalled.
Very sad.
Basically, when you criticize and attack another woman in the way that you were attacked verbally online, it just goes to show your that your own inner workings/demons need sorting out. I would suggest to those that attack (and especially attacking a pregnant woman-the MOST selfish and incredibly disgusting thing to witness) that they read a book and to look within themselves and to try to sort out why they are so unhappy and feel the need to try to spread hate. The internet is not a free for all in many ways-People are seeing what kind of a person you are by how you attempt to demean another. I have made some mistakes over the years and I am not perfect by any means, but this just has been taken to a whole new level. Trying to gain more money and press for yourself by attacking others (you know who you are) is pathetic and will only bite you back tenfold. Really, truly, it is time to grow up. For those I would suggest going back to school and to try to become better people.
(I just wanted to clarify-I am not talking about Lesley Arfin, a talented writer when I say “two writers.”) She I respect.
^ agree one hundred percent. The nastiness unleashed on this blog last week was just pathetic and uncalled for. You were sharing a difficult decision that you made as well as a new career endeavor. Instead of being commended and reassured for that, you were attacked. I can’t help but think it stems from pure jealousy (a la mean girls syndrome)
You worked hard and established yourself, that is why you have these options available to you. Of course, other women (who don’t really have much to say that isn’t self ingratiating drivel) aren’t able to possess a voice because they don’t have much to say that is of any interest. That being said, I’m real excited about your new direction. I love your Fritz entries they make me wish I had the blogging know-how to record my lil terror’s days.
@Mandy That theory makes a lot of sense. I believe that all the hate must stem from jealousy and insecurities as well. It’s a shame…but such a reality for all of us.
Is it really that hard to move past this? Or are you just hoping Gawker will link to you again?
It’s basically last weeks news, shouldn’t you be posting about hipster mommy things, not trying to drudge up more drama(at least Claw(also saying you fucked her husband on twitter? classy!) and I closed comments on the blogs regarding this because we were over it) and publicity for your blog(while still ignoring all you readers at Misbehave by not issuing official statement).
Also the way you said you’d call me monday, and sent out a mass email lay off(the most obnoxious email ever used to lay people off too, “‘m going to enjoy the summer” really?) ever by the way sans phone call that Monday - classic mean girl move. Nice one.
Stop playing victim Sam. You’re just as much a “mean girl” as anyone else.
Some blog advice? Maybe find traffic via Mommy blogs(not snarky Manhattan gossip blogs that are gonna mock you), and search engine optimization. It’d probably bring in regular traffic for people who want to read about hipster moms.
And once again, my point is proven. If this is feminism, I am gumby. Maybe she will go away in time. There are major inner issues at play that are being projected onto Samantha.
One good book to read is “Woman’s Inhumanity To Woman”
http://www.amazon.com/Womans-Inhumanity-Woman-Phyllis-Chesler/dp/0452284082
@Sinead Why the fuck are you still checking my blog?? Oh yea when people hate you they read your blog more…I forgot. Thanks for the traffic.
That’s a deep question…I would think it has something to do with being competitive. Some people are more competitive than others. So, while there are some women or girls that are very female friendly, there are also those that are not so much, whether it be due to a competitive nature to want to be the best or even due to insecurities and jealousy, to say the least.
I must say, however, that upon scrolling down to read comments to this post, seeing Sinead’s face again is almost comical at this point.
I heard a “Dun dun duuuuuuuuuunnnnn!” . I swear. haha
Whichever way you want to analyse the issues, it all boils down eventually to just one thing: jealousy.
Women will bitch about other women when they perceive those other women as having something they want for themselves or feel that they are entitled to.
Sam invites jealousy because the way she puts herself over online (which by the way is totally up to her) makes her seem kind of infallible and that can be difficult to relate to. Adoring husband, a great kid and another one on the way, lovely home, wealthy enough to be able to not work… There are undoubtedly women out there who read about Sam’s life and feel a stab of envy. Maybe they wish they were married, or that they were pregnant, or they resent the fact that they have no choice but to work and the idea of Sam jacking it all in to “enjoy the summer” really grates. Maybe they have sexual jealousy that Sam fucked their husband first.
Whatever. To those women I would say; jealousy is not only an ugly character trait but it is also a huge waste of energy. Hating on a person for having what want is not going to get you what you want. It just makes you bitter. With the exception of family, nothing about anyone else’s life should have any bearing on your own, so stop sweating it. Some people get lucky and have great lives, for others it turns out to be harder. Get over it and just worry about your own shit.
Your blog is just hilariously sad, you became a stay at home mom but still relish in drama like a high school teenager.
Traffic? Compare yours to mine. You probably actually count on single hits, so I’m glad I could help. I count on thousands.
Also here’s a great quote for you:
“it’s odd to me how Moeller exercising the option to raise her kids full time is seen as her right to choose as a feminist but no one seems to want to acknowledge that laying people off without telling them denies her staffers (which seem to be mostly women) access to exercise their options.”
Had YOU ever acted like a professional there would be no drama.
I’m not jealous of you at all, I prefer my life to yours even as I am unemployed.
And the stalking continues….
classy…sinead is calling someone out for not being classy…really? reallllyyy?? and being professional?? whatt?? can someone get lindsey lohan on the phone I want to learn about sobriety next…. compare your traffic to mine…just because you have more traffic does not mean your blog is any better or respectable…you post pictures of tits & ass like no shit people will look at it!! people also slow down and scope out fucking car accidents and train wrecks! wooohooo i must be doing something right b.c everyone’s watching me….right… i’m sure if i created a blog called “awkward teen april” and posted pictures similar to yours i bet i’d have traffic too! and if i lost even more shame after that and threw temper tantrums like it was my job (sorry, touchy subject aye?) on multiple sites i’d get even more! who the fuck cares how many hits you have you’re still embarrassing yourself and look like an idiot…i’m sure you have thousands of hits….maybe millions…the question is how many people are going to call you a respectable business woman and admire/acknowledge you for your hard work? that’s right now who is counting singles. You spread your legs and know basic html bitch you probably use dreamweaver to boot….and relishing? yea because you’re clearly moved on from this issue and have gotten past it… geezz lady (use that term loosely) seems like your unemployment gives you a little too much time to play on the internet..bottom line sineads a fucking idiot and i hate to even acknowledge the twat because she clearly craves attention whether it be positive (probably not for awhile) or negative. Sam doesn’t owe you or anyone else shit especially not employment/money…go out and take care of yourself…maybe move home to mommy…clearly she wasn’t done raising her pathetic excuse for offspring. When did Sam mention you once in this post? You assume everything about mean girls, shit talking and general immaturity is about you? good call. I’m glad you mention Claw- the woman who I guess in synonymous with pregnant lady beat downs from what I read…here’s a great quote for you sinead…”go fuck yourself”
Doesn’t Vagina ShowTits have her own blog? She should spend more time on it, especially since its content is made up of abysmal writing and saggy lady parts.
But I guess I can’t blame her for whoring herself out on other people’s blogs. She does need the visibility to land a job and I can’t imagine her resume being all that impressive. Maybe she’s trying to become an unpaid blogger for The Hipster Mom?
Sinead, last week you were complaining that your blog got no hits.
claw closed comments because she would have had her assed chewed about the idea of kicking a pregnant woman in her first trimester…she didn’t let more than 3 people comment! it’s not getting over something when you don’t even allow the issue to arise! shit’s weak and she knew she couldnt handle the backlash of her idiotic husband…boy did that guy epic downgrade from sam to that piece? and sinead saying that you’re over this is a fucking joke…you closed comments because people were telling your what a fucking moron you are…weird how those comments didnt appear in your oh so heavily traffic blog…you’re pathetic and sorry excuse for an human being. i feel embarrassed for you you attention craving skank.
My blog got not hits through Missbehave. Learn to fucking read.
I closed comments because Missbehave is dead, Sam is a bitch who couldn’t even call me, and I’m moving on. I allowed negative comments on my blog, I closed after I realized I didn’t give a fuck.
I just checked the money I made in the past month off my blog, not bad but none of it is related to this shit. It’s related to my writing, promotion and other things. Missbehave did shit for me.
I just want Sam to cut my check, cut pissing and moaning about how she’s been picked on(REALLY? REALLY?). and maybe I’ll shut up. Sam isn’t a victim. She’s not known for being a sweet heart so it’s adorable that she plays this game. And I don’t doubt for a second she moderates comments to make things more posi.
As for my “porn” blog, read it for a minute and realize its more than that, that I earn money and traffic off it for more reasons than naked ladies(which is like twice a week - my latest post is about pet triops, my last ten posts - how many were really spank bankable? bitch plz). I know how to run a blog. Sam does not.
Also hipstermom.com was taken a long time ago. So original.
You absolutely are not moving on, or you wouldn’t be commenting here over and over and over….BS your life is one of extremes-your reactions, your job choices, your past. Not everyone is out to get you, nor do you need to attack people so easily. Your actions are absolutely troubling to witness. If you truly moved on, you wouldn’t be commenting here, now would you?! Grow up! Why would anyone want to hire you now when you have exposed yourself to fly off the deep end so easily? The way you are harassing her for $100 makes me cringe. You will get farther by being professional and not airing your troubles to the world. You have exposed nothing but your intense mood swings directed at Samantha and her business that you have had a very insignificant part of. Your actions are positively scary and unpredictable.
yea…clearly sinead is super over this…i wouldn’t give this bitch a dime. and no one cares about you sinead- people are here to read sam’s blog not your pathetic rants…grow up. no one cares how nice sam is or how you make your money…go focus on something else….
She just wants her name posted over and over, so calling her “BS” is better..
I have absolutely no interest in being in businesses where people refer to themselves as not femnists or HBIC.
It’s adorable how you suck Sams ass btw Rachel. Keep it up and you might suck something else out.
BS, I know you have had a lot of horrible things happen to you in your past which you wrote about on Missbehave, but I think you are taking it way too far against someone that is undeserving of your rage. There is such a thing as cyber bullying. I hope one day that you will realize this and apologize to her. Better yet, you should donate the $100 to charity. Giving to others is the most rewarding thing that you can ever do in your life. That would be the best way to make up for your behavior.
Wow. This is ridiculous. Sam, do whatever the fuck you want, girl and enjoy being a mother. It is a luxury few people get to experience, and I think it’s wonderful. I am grateful for all the fantastic issues/blog posts Missbehave has produced, but now that it’s over - it’s over. BS, you were far from being the best blogger on Missbehave. FAR. And I used to like you too, but now you are just being a trashy bitch. You should be ashamed of yourself for siding with that old skank Claw. You girls are just so full of jealousy and spite! It’s also funny because you were the one complaining about how you hate having girl friends because of all the cattiness. Anyway, bye good and all the best to you, Sam.
Is it just me or is anyone else worried about Sineads sanity? Yeah, it’s true she is cyber-bullying Sam to an almost stalker-like level, but what she is saying is so contradictory and incomprehensible that I’m starting to get a little worried. I’m being serious. This girl has major issues. Shouldn’t we just ignore her and hope she gets herself the professional help she is needing? I know this sounds like I’m being sarcastic but I’m not. If there is a mental issue at play here, we shouldn’t really encourage it, should we?
Kayleigh-I completely agree and will no longer be commenting about or to her. Something isn’t clicking and at this point it’s frightening.
This is such bullshit. I’m not taking sides but you want to put up a post about “Mean girls”? Really? Not knowing the details of what went on, I can only speculate and it seems like you BOTH can be classified as “mean girls” and ridiculously immature. Neither one of you are over it. If you were, you wouldn’t have posted this linking to last week’s convo. If she were over it, she wouldn’t still be on here commenting. Meet somewhere and fight it out already because this shit is just said. Two grown ass women acting like high schoolers. Get over yourselves and over each other. You both are playing the victim.
@Sinead: “it’s odd to me how Moeller exercising the option to raise her kids full time is seen as her right to choose as a feminist but no one seems to want to acknowledge that laying people off without telling them denies her staffers (which seem to be mostly women) access to exercise their options.” This is such a weak argument. In ABSOLUTELY NO WAY is Samantha limiting your access to options. Sure, you can no longer vent/write on that forum, but is she preventing you from working harder on your blog or any other blog, for that matter? NO, of course not. Your life is in your hands, not hers. I would recommend Sinead to read Lesley Arfin’s post on the matter from May 21st. Oh wait, perhaps she should re-read her comments from Lesley’s post on getting laid off in which she writes: “It sucks Lesley was fired. Economic times are harsh. End of story.”
Sinead you are hurting your own writing future! Stop now before it becomes too late!
That’s someone elses argument. Samanthas unprofessional way of firing fucks over people and you know it. Email mass firings when you’s say you’d call the person is disrespectful.
In other news, I don’t want to write for people like Samantha, I want to write for people with ethics, morals and respects for their readers(something Sam has nothing) and employees.
Lesleyls post essentially describes Sams selfish ways over her care of employment of people who made her magazine - like your boss fired you and went on vacay? how posi. I gave Sam 100% of me, and my blog did suffer as San demanded more and more of me…did Sam care no. She wanted to know why when I was on bedrest sick I wasn’t wrting.
As for my writing future, I already have new job opportunities. Thanks for caring. Sorry I don’t have to pretend to like someone to get ahead unlike everyone else at MB.
Oh my gosh shut the hell up already. Really.
Why don’t you and your bad jewelry Reachel?
That’s it. No discount for you.I am canceling your order.
Ha ha.
just so eveyone knows, Sinead really does have severe issues.
A year & a half ago, long before she started writing for Missbehave, she pulled this same sort of nonsense with me, over something FAR and AWAY less substantial than a missing $100 - it truly was cyber bullying. Comment harassment, spamming with her site’s banner, returning time and again after having her IP banned…not only that, but she took it to real life by calling and harassing other individuals not directly involved. When I heard she was writing for the blog I knew it was a matter of time before she began her antics against the magazine in some form too. (not to mention there’s an entire laundry list of other people she has also pulled this flip out manuever on too)
Attempting to reason with her WILL NOT WORK. She’s far too gone at this point.