Here’s how my mornings typically go; Fritz has been waking up screaming at about six-thirty on the nose. I scream back for him to come in our room hoping I can catch a few more Z’s. Yea right. He wedges his way into bed between me and BD and begins poking me or hammering his heel repeatedly into my back. This make’s me really pissy first thing in the morning. I plead for him to ‘give me five more minutes’. Then he grinds his elbow into my side (totally on purpose) which causes me to mutter some profanities but ultimately gets me out of bed.

I usually make him brush his teeth first thing then head downstairs with his clothes for the day in hand. He plops on the couch and we flick on Sponge Bob. He’s so over Blues Clues. I stick a straw in a yogurt drink for him and make my first cup of coffee. Ahhhh. The rest of the morning, about forty-five minutes until he’s out the door for school, is spent getting him dressed, shoving food down his throat and making his lunch. Some mornings are better than others, but all I know is, the second he’s out the door, calm washes over me. Then I settle in, feed Lola, drink coffee and chillax with the morning news. So begins my day.

Right now, my afternoons are pretty blissful. I spend a lot of time bonding with Lola. She is such a peaceful baby. If she even let’s out a little yelp I know just what to do to to please her. I lay down on the floor next to her baby blanket and play little games like peek-a-boo and pat-a-cake. Her smiles get me high so I just lean over her and do anything I can to keep um coming. We run errands together and visit with friends. Soon when the weather is nice we’ll be strolling and sitting in the park. It’s all very dreamy and I’m going to enjoy it as long as it lasts. Not that I won’t enjoy all the rest of my day’s with her and Fritz, but there is something about doting over a new baby that’s just insanely delightful.

Then at approximately two forty-five every afternoon the chaos resumes. I walk into Fritz’s class room and lately he pretty much ignores me. Other kids run up to their parents happy to see them, not Fritz, I guess he’s too cool now. Already? Then once I get him out of school, which always takes a bit of coxing, a rocky road of emotions follows all the way up until he is read his bedtime stories and tucked into bed. The second calm of the day and I’m usually spent.

Now, I know this sounds a bit like favoritism, but I assure you that I love both my kids equally. Lola is just a little thing, still attached to my breast. And Fritz is a growing boy who I can have a conversation with. He drives me insane at least fifty times a day but he melts my heart just as many times. I’m just saying that right now my afternoons with Lola are very special and this is one of the main reasons I made the choice to stay at home with my kids. It’s my face she sees pushing her stroller, and mine hers. I believe it’s the best thing for both of us and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Never welcome your guy home with the words ‘OMG…On Tyra today _________’. They don’t fu*king care. This especially goes for the SAHM. I almost let these words past my lips this evening and immediately stopped myself. Why? Simply put-not a good look. Even though we do spend 99.9 % of the day doing very super mega important stuff, you always want to create the illusion that we never take a respite and flip on talk shows, soaps and LMN movies mid-day. Ok, ocassional afternoon art house fair is one thing but Mother May I Sleep With Danger is another. So just a gentle suggestion…let’s keep the women with two vaginas and the lady with ginormous legs to ourselves. K.

P.S In my defense I typically don’t watch afternoon TV but breast feeding is turning me couch potato.

Becoming a stay at home mom really reshaped my family. It seems that the mom/dad roles have become very, very traditional, meaning BD brings home the bacon and I do mostly everything regarding Fritz. This is my job. When I was going to work everyday, just like him, and we had a nanny, things with Fritz were more shared…not too much more, but more. To give you an idea, as a SAHM my duties include changing diapers, feeding, bathing, waking up/putting to sleep, changing clothes, playing, doing arts & crafts and reading stories. Then there’s keeping house, all the cooking, cleaning and tyding up. It can be pretty chill or totally hectic, but it’s pretty much around the clock and for the record, in no way am I complaining, just laying the groundwork for my point. BD’s role with Fritz is taking him to school (I pick up) and maybe a little play when he arrives home. Most nights we all have dinner together as a family. I’d say most of BD’s interaction with Fritz happens on the weekends when we all do a family activity together. So over all we can say my hands on time with our son is 85% to BD’s 15%.

This is never how I pictured things when we decided to have kids. But it’s how it is and I love it…for now at least. I wanted to explain the roles that me and my husband play because while he is the one forging ahead in a career outside the home and making all the cash money, it may look as if his job is more important or fulfilling in someway. On many occasions I’ve thought this to myself. But as I grow in to my role as a SAHM, which like I described puts pretty much all the child rearing duties on me, I find a huge satisfaction in it. I am in no way resentful and the better I get at it the happier it makes me. I can see my influence on Fritz. I am helping to shape his personality with all this interaction.

A few months ago I wrote a post about how I hated reading the same books at night over and over. It’s still not tops on my list but you know what, I find a much greater pleasure in it now because I know that with my patience, reading those books to my son for close to half an hour before he goes to bed at night is helping him in some way. I also feel proud that I have developed this kind of patience, it’s something I know my husband could never do and I begin to relish in the fact that it’s our thing, mine and Fritz’s.

I am proud that I give Fritz my undivided attention to play puzzles, make a painting or sculpt monsters and spaceships out of play-doh. While these things may seems silly or non-important to the average person, they’ve got it all wrong. Some parents, mothers and fathers, don’t have or simply won’t make the time for these sorts of activities. They are too busy or too preoccupied and the tasks are left to someone else or no one else. My mother always prides me on being a good mom because she never did those kinds of things with me. Now I have begun to see the value in what I am doing and It’s every bit as important as what my husband is doing.

‘I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up…’ -Santogold

I am very curious to know what all your home lives are like regarding the mom/dad roles. Who does what? Who’s do the majority of the child rearing? Who’s keeping the home together? Who’s working? Who’s not? Do you feel things are equal or unfair?

So, it proved that a little jaunt out of town was just what I needed. It felt amazing to get out of my everyday environment and go bum around someone else’s house for a few days. On Thursday me, my mom and Fritz headed up to New Hampshire to visit family friends. It was amazing to get on the road and let all my troubles fade in the distance, except there was that one hour I let my mom drive…scary! Our hosts in New Hampshire have a gorgeous house surrounded by land and it was the perfect place to lounge around, read and knit. Because our friends are ‘empty nesters’ to three kids in college they were happy to have young Fritzy running around the place, terrorizing their cat and eating all their sweets, which left me plenty of time to relax.

Fritz had a blast helping our hosts with their yard work which kinda makes you sad to live in the city, but just for a second. Fritz and I also got in some nice quality time which involved cuddling in bed when we woke up in the morning and him serenading me with ‘The Wheels on The Bus’ song. We spooned, people. As far as me and BD, we got a chance to miss each other. Isn’t this something every couple needs to remind themselves not to take each other for granted?

Over all though I think one of the most drastically important things that I realized on my mini-vaykay was that  if I don’t sit down, stop procrastinating and make something happen, it never will. Working at home is hard. There are about five million distractions and reasons not to get something going. What I came away with was that my one major goal is to set aside some time each day to write, be creative and/or do something to educate myself. If I need to set a timer, so be it. When your a SAHM you must be a self motivator. It is so easy to get distracted and it’s also easy to not have that much time at all, but at least an hour or two a day can be pieced together to do something for yourself. It may take some crafty time management, but it can be done.Whether it’s being creative, learning something new or just catching up on news, it’s these things that are just for us. Viva la revolution and that diaper pail can wait an hour to be emptied…I got stuff to do!

Oh and P.S, thanks for all your support in the previous post…you guys are, like, the best!

In just 10 days, as of September 23rd, I’ll be third trimester. Only three months to go. Not too shabby. At this point I really don’t have that many complaints. I feel pretty good, save the expanding pelvis bones and slight back discomfort. My belly is getting super round and actually looks pretty good. I haven’t yet developed that dark line that goes down the middle of your tummy when your pregnant and maybe I won’t. I love that the weather has turned cool and I get to change up my pregnancy style. Things are really going to get interesting starting this week when Fritz begins school full time. He is going to be at school Monday- Friday from 8:30-3:00!! I’m going to have loads of time for myself to work on projects, this blog, the house and get some rest in before the baby comes. Last Friday I had just three whole hours to myself when BD took Fritz to school for his last half day and I got to stay at home…alone. It felt like an eternity. I can only imaging what 8:30-3:00 is going to feel like. Sky’s the limit.